Chronology Of Sharing
As a child, I had a hard time talking about myself, and until eighth grade I didn’t share much. I did well in my lessons, I was a formidable opponent at folk ball, I drew well and I wasn’t fat. This emulsion somehow allowed me to enjoy the good attitude of most of my classmates. I hung out with the boys because they make friends more easily through play and competition. In communicating with them, I could see myself in a way that I liked. I had the strength to beat most of them and the nobility, not to do it for nothing… I went to study hall with three boys from the class. Goshko and Micho. They were smart guys and that somehow united them against Mitko, who was barely patching up the situation with the grades. Mitko had the physical strength and stature to stand up to them when they came at him, but he was too timid to defend himself. Then I intervened to restore the balance. I told Goshko and Misho not to attack Mitko, because I will fight on his side, they refused and the friendship of the four of us could continue.
Instalation view from the exhibition A TYPO IN THE BOOK OF THE SELF in KO-OP 2023
It was different with the girls. Winning a race is no reason to make friends there. Sharing is far more valuable. Sharing in its various aspects. As I mentioned before, I didn’t share much about myself, and I didn’t have particularly interesting things to exchange with the other girls. I tried to be at least a good listener and occasionally defended them from the boys’ attacks. These were the things I could offer, but they were not enough to make me feel like a worthy participant in friendships with girls in the class.
Around seventh or eighth grade, I began to realize the causality of the situation I was putting myself into. Then I had a good opportunity to change approaches as much as possible because I changed schools. I entered the art school and a new world opened up before me, we were all at the starting line. I didn’t have a structured plan, but I had set myself the goal of showing vulnerability to the “chosen ones” by sharing. In the years leading up to twelfth grade, I learned first-hand what it means to show your vulnerability can be a great strength. These actions gave me the opportunity to look at myself in a different way. I started to accept myself as a whole, but not to let the flaws be a reason to break down. Since then, I have also had my first friendships with women in which I feel like a worthy participant. They continue to this day.
Chronology Of Sharing, acrylic on canvas, 130 x 60 cm., 2023
I trace how the ability to express ourselves through the narrative is formed. I share a personal story that outlines the boundaries of this process in my life. The works illustrate some output options, and we can give them even a negative connotation, calling this sharing gossip. In this act, I see more. I see a possibility to create a reality that we can inhabit.
She Told Me, acrylic on canvas, 130 x 60 cm., 2023